"She-Ra!„ „Yes?„ Astonished she turned around on Swift Wind. „What is it, Bow?“ Normally he didn’t came too close to her, if she was the Princess of Power. „I'd like to talk to you. Could you spare a few minutes?“ What did that mean? The people did already look curious on the two of them. They weren’t familiar with She-Ra staying in the Royal Courtyard longer than five minutes after a battle. He-Man was away since the last of Skeletor's troopers was. „Can’t we do that later?“ she asked quietly. „No.“ Sighing she jumped down from Swift Wind and went with Bow into the palace. „Where to?“ They could hardly go into their flat. What would Princess Adora say, if her boyfriend would disappear in their apartment with another woman? She sighed again. She hadn’t get used yet to be so watched. „In an office.“ What did he plan? She didn’t know him that way at all. He locked up the door. „Otherwise there’ll surely come such a muscle-bound of security to ask, if everything is okay“ he groaned. „What is up, Bow?“ she asked straight out. „That’s, what I wanted to ask you. You don’t look very good. And I can’t do, as if there would be nothing. I know, you’re melancholic. But I don’t know, why.“ He stood up and stepped behind her, folded his arms in front of her belly. She leaned her head on his shoulder. It was good to stand there like this and forget everything- even if it was only for short. He laid his chin on her shoulder and looked at her asking from his fascinating dark eyes. No, she didn’t want to talk about it now. She felt more like having sex with him. It was absurd, yes, but suddenly she didn’t want to do anything else but making love with Bow in this cold, unfriendly office. He saw the tiny flash of craving in her sight. He moved a little bit away from her. He didn’t want her to feel his erection. But she snuggled up to him close again and asked: „The door’s locked?“ „Yes. Perhaps we should close the shutters too?“ His wandered up her body with his hands, caressed her breasts gently. „On the tenth floor?“ She kissed him hotly. „Who knows...“ Slowly he opened the zipper of her dress and ran down her spine with two fingers the same time. „Here there are so many people, who can fly, you know...“ She got rid of the tiny little piece of cloth still covering her body. „No time for it...“ She turned round and started to untie him. It was only the second time, she made love to him as She-Ra, and she knew, this time it would be different. The first time had been her first time at all. But today... Usually they took much time for themselves. Today she wanted to be taken standing up and showed it to him unequivocally. She took off the slip and kissed him pushing. He was surprised, but didn’t stop her. Her hand slid down on his body and he moaned quietly. It was nearly unbelievable, but he seemed to get aroused even more under her soft movements. Well, until today they had only had quite normal sex, but now, that she had showed that she couldn’t only be only innocent and often very passive too, he came out of his shell too. He turned her round, so, that she stood with the back against the wall. Very short he hesitated still. She only nodded. He pushed inside her, as he always did, slowly, paying attention on not to hurt her. But today she didn’t really care about that. She only wanted to feel him, truly, madly, deeply. She didn’t understand herself. Usually she wasn’t like this, really not. They seemed to be outside the time. Nothing mattered, not even the nightmares, she had since days. Nothing. She moved lightly up with her leg on his. He took it on the hollow of the knee immediately and put it up to his hip. So she could feel him more intensive. Could it be, that everytime, she had sex with him, it was more beautiful? She couldn’t imagine is as good at that way with someone, she wasn’t in love with. Their rhythm became faster every second, she sweat intensively. The wall was marvelous cool. She knew, she would have an orgasm like never before. In ecstasy she sank her nails into his back, left bloody tracks, which he hardly realized. Then he stopped and she thought, he would pull out of her now. Instead he pushed her once more tight and she had a height like fireworks in the sky. Her body seemed to explode, she trembled in the highest state of delirium. Bow smiled at her and put her hair out of her face. „And who was that now?“ „Babe, that’s just me“ she answered. Slowly the magic of the last minutes ceased. She-Ra searched for her clothes. She laughed, when she saw, that she had worn her boots all the time. Before they left the office they kissed long again. „It was wonderful“ she said truly. „And interesting“ he added. She blushed. „You... don’t think about me wrong now, do you?“ „Why? Because we agree really in every respect?“ He shook his head. „I love you, Princess. Just the way, you are.“ „I love you too. Come on, let’s go, before they’ll put us on the list of the ten people, who are searched most in all Eternia...“ With a neutral face they left the palace. Thank god they met no one but the Queen, who saw She-Ra's flashing eyes, her untidy hair, the slipped dress- and had to laugh. Memories of her and a younger, more impulsive Randor came on her mind. The couple blushed and went on fast. Through the window Marlena watched her daughter flying away. In ten minutes the earliest she could expect her to come back. And then it would be time for a serious talk.
„Enter!“ Hesitating Adora went into the private room of her mother. „You called?“ „Sit down.“ Marlena hummed quietly, while she watered the flowers. The Princess only needed seconds to recognize the melody: `To be with you´ from Mr. Big. „I'd like to see the earth once“ she said. „Me too“ the Queen answered dryly. Break. „Duncan said, as soon, as he gets the needed tools for it, he’ll send us there.“ Her voice sounded sadly. Adora placed her arm round her shoulders. „You miss your planet very much, don’t you, Mom?" "You’re a good watcher." Marlena tried to smile and left the subject. „Well, Adora, how do you come along with the Royal Guard?" She put down the watering can and sat down on the couch. „Come here.“ „Very good. I never thought, it would be so perfect. I just feel... a little bored. If there’s no fight, I’ve got nothing to do. I wonder, how Adam stood this all the time." „And if you do become Royal Guard Captain?“ For the first time after Feature’s death somebody asked that. „Your father would be so happy“ Marlena added. „Did you call me because of this?“ her daughter asked lightly angrily. She herself had also thought about this job, which she hadn’t wanted at all in the beginning. But... „It’s impossible. I would neglect one of my identities.“ „Yes, I thought so. But please don’t be surprised then, if your father asks... Bow.“ „Bow? Cool!“ „You don’t mind?“ Her mother arched an eyebrow. „Mind? I would be proud of him!“ the Princess explained. „Well then... So?“ Marlena asked, grinning. „What?“ „You and Bow.“ Adora blushed again. „What did they tell you?“ „Nothing. I can see it for myself. Are you engaged yet or not?“ „Not yet. We want let dust settle on the last happenings.“ Adora's smiled happily. „But you talked about, didn’t you?“ Marlena asked, but didn’t wait for an answer. „You know, your Dad and I sometimes did so too.“ Silence. „Often there were some... intimate talks.“ „How intimate?“ Adora asked quietly. The Queen shook her head, sighing. „Why do you actually think you and Adam were born six months after your father’s and my wedding yet?“ She stood up. „I hope, you and Bow were more careful.“ She went away. „Yes, I also hope so“ She-Ra murmured.
King Randor had apparently lost no time. When Adora entered her flat, a sheet laid on the bed: `I’m in your father’s office. Bow.´ She shook her head. Sure, a new Royal Guard Captain was needed, but so pressing it wasn’t. And now? Spare time, that was something, she hadn’t had often so far. She didn’t want to ride. Spirit had been taken out a lot last week. He was relieved to have a rest these days. Her sight fell on her secret drawer. She laid her hand on the button. A red ray blinded her shortly. `Retina-scan positive!´ was written on the mini-view screen. A little gadget of Duncan. In the drawer wasn’t very much. A medal for example. She took it out, looked at it long. Why did she keep it? She should have chucked it away before years. But everytime, she wanted to do it, something in her said no. It was very simple. It was silver and had no ornamentation. `For special work, i.a.b.o.c.´ i.a.b.o.c.. Nothing special, indeed. But she had been so proud...
...when Hordak pinned it on her. `Excellent, Adora! You’ve served the Horde very well by capturing the leader of the rebellion!´ `Thanks, mighty one.´ She always was happy, when he praised her. `Next week you have don’t have to work. But better don’t leave the Fright Zone. You do know, why.´ Of course she knew. Because of the rebels, who were only waiting to meet a member of the Horde. And what happened then... She had heard too much frightening stories to go out alone. Nobody did so, you had to go with at least one friend. Or armed heavily. She went into her room, but couldn’t stay there for long. She had to see the woman again. The phaser, with which she had caught her today, hadn’t been on stunning, like Adora used to have it, but on the first stage. She had realized it only after she had shot and was very annoyed. Somebody had changed it without she had known. The prisoner had been unconscious for much too long. Hopefully... Damnit, she was a rebel! Nevertheless Adora went into the dungeon. Relieved she saw, that the other woman was already awake again, though she seemed to be in pain very much. The Force Captain saw, that her overall was colored red on one place. She made a grimace. You didn’t have compassion for enemies. If she herself would be a prisoner, she would be treated the same way. She got closer. `Are you alright?´ she asked fast and hardly audibly. The other woman looked at her amazed and so disparagingly, that Adora got immediately strong again. `Listen, I’m not here for fun. If you’re hurt, say it now. I haven’t got time to stay here for the whole night. I can bring you dressing material...´ `No.´ That was clear. She didn’t want help. Not from an arch-enemy. Normally the Force Captain would have simply gone away now. But she saw, that the young woman pulled her face at every move, she made, that the red point in the part of her collarbone grew bigger and bigger. `Don’t care!´ a voice in her said. A scratching, unpleasant voice. `If she had a gun, she would have killed you yet!´ But another voice, a good, warm- a unknown one said: `She's suffering. Because of you...´ Adora went to the sick bay. She didn’t know much about the medical gadget, so she took a first-aid-kit, when the doc didn’t look at her. `Blast´ she murmured. What was she doing?
On her way back to the dungeon she meet Grizzlor. He looked at her withering and went by without greeting. Probably he knew, what she was planning to do. Well, she could afford it. Hordak actually let her do everything, she wanted. Nevertheless she frightened, when she saw the powerful warrior, like she often did recently. It was strange, something evil seemed to be on him. He always seemed to know something, she didn’t know. She jerked her shoulders. Probably only a illusion.
`What are you doing here again?´ the leader of the rebellion asked, worked up. She had become very pale. The injure seemed to get worse. Adora didn’t even want to think about, what would have happened, if she hadn’t come here. She switched off the strength field and on again, when she was in the cell. The prisoner stood up, ready to fight. The Force Captain held up her hands. `I don’t mean you any harm.´ She put down the kit. `Can you handle with this?´ `Funny, I can’t remember me saying I want to.´ Now Adora got angry. `All, I want to do, is help you. It's useless for us and for your men, if you bleed to death now. So let me see your shoulder- or do I have to stun you for that?´ The woman pressed together her lips annoyed and opened the kit. `I can do this alone... ah!´ She hardly could move her arm. `I don’t think so´ her enemy said dryly. `Put away the top.´ She tried to remember the medical course, she once had made. They didn’t talk. Finally they were ready. Adora had disinfected and bandaged the shoulder with pressure. The danger of a sepsis was gone now at least. The rest would be done by the doc tomorrow, that was, what Adora would make for sure, and if she had to ask Hordak, which she unfortunately couldn’t do now. Her adoptive father would probably lock her up in the dungeon himself, if she'd ask him to help a rebel at 3 a.m.. She went outside and switched on the strength field again. `Thank you´ the prisoner said suddenly. The Force Captain wanted to go, when she thought of something. `What actually is your name?´ `Glimmer. My name is Glimmer.´
Adora frightened, when she heard a loud bang, and opened her eyes. For minutes she had been totally away. Absent-minded she closed the window, which the wind had slammed. She stepped back, when she saw her father and Bow crossing the yard. Bow had hurt her in that night, she had just remembered, less with an arrow then with, that he had freed Glimmer with only a few men. Although Hordak had assured her, that she couldn’t have done more, than she had done against, she had been unbelievable enraged. She looked at the medal once more, took a phaser then and destroyed it. But she knew, the memories being connected with it, which tortured her for nights and let her look pale and depressed, weren’t to delete that easily. And she had hoped so much, she would have got over it! „I’m different now“ she said quietly. „Why can’t you just let me in peace?“ She took something else from the drawer. Photos. Little Adora on Hordak's knee. Adora with ten, with a page-boy hairstyle and her first phaser. Adora in a close combat fight - training with Catra, with a black eye and an aggressive grimace, as she beat the other woman down. Adora with Spirit. Adora as Force Captain. These photos and the medal were the only memories of the Fright Zone, which weren’t just in her head. She had got it - and that hadn’t been easy - weeks after Adam had freed her from Shadow Weavers spell. Now she took the lighter which were in the drawer as well and lightened the pictures. No problem. Not anymore. The lighter and the cigarettes she put on the bedside table. No reason for hiding it. Most probably Bow would complain, surely her mother would. When they would begin one of their sermons again, she would smoke outside. She knew, it was dangerous, but dangerous, that was, what Skeletor was too. She took the lock from the drawer. It wasn’t needed anymore. She didn’t feel any better yet. On the wall hung photos too. From a time not so long ago. Adora, who had just joined the Rebellion, who just moved into a tend. So friendly she had been received in the Whispering Woods, but she looked into the camera with a shy, unsure sight. For weeks she had just come out of the tend for fighting. Only slowly she had melted. Adora with Glimmer, who had already been her best friend in this time. Adora with Adam. Adora with Castaspella. Adora with a Horde Trooper helmet on her head. She took a cigarette. Thoughtful she lightened it and blew the smoke into the direction of the photos. What was up with her? So happy she had been just days ago, and now it seemed, the depressions wouldn’t go away anymore. She constantly thought of the Fright Zone, about her time as the Horde's Force Captain, and of Hordak's last minutes on Etheria, when he had managed it to hurt her more than ever before. She had thought to be over it. Bow had helped her so much, that she had managed it to nearly forget it. And now, suddenly, everything started again. Where had the happy girl from the photos over there vanished to? She cried, until she fell asleep exhausted. She had nightmares.
Slowly, very slowly Adora found back to reality. When she read 4.00 on the clock, she was puzzled. She had lost all her feeling for time. She only wore a nightgown. She looked aside. Bow slept beside her, an arm around her shoulders. She had a goose-flesh, had a stale taste in her mouth and felt sore. As she had done so often in the last weeks, she stood up and went to the window. Why was she so depressed? she asked herself again and again. It wasn’t just her time in the Fright Zone, she knew it. She wanted to believe that, then she would have at least a reason for her depressions, but it wasn’t true. The only reason was her rape by Hordak- but that alone wasn’t it either. She couldn’t say, why she knew that. So what was up with her? Why this creeping sadness, which didn’t let her go anymore? `Because you caused hurt and sorrow. Because you injured the honor of Grayskull irretrievably. You should have fought against the spell harder.´ Like a broken LP this sentences echoed in her head. She felt, that she began to believe it. Yes, it was true, she had been weak. Adam and her had talked about it, after he had found her in the Fright Zone. They had talked much about it. And finally she had been convinced of what he constantly said: That for her time in the Horde she wasn't responsible. But now the psychological talks began to loose their effects. This happened so fast, that Adora got scared. The cause of these memories, of these silly self-reproaches, was something in the darkest corner of her soul. It lurked there like
a wild animal, ready for breaking out anytime. And the Princess felt, that she didn’t like it. The scare grew bigger. In her subconscious she saw it clear, what was awaiting her. But she didn’t want that! No! She felt sick more and more. Her heart began to beat wildly. In her dream she had seen it, and this dream returned now, only like a shadow. As soon as she closed her eyes, she felt a wolf in her soul, which wanted to come out. It wouldn’t last long, until it would have managed it. For split seconds she could already see it,
all came to her mind... and disappeared immediately again. But the gate to it opened more and more. „No!“ she whispered. It was of no use. Adora decided to take the pills again. Since the whole mess had started, she took them. Sleeping pills, Duncan had once given her. Instead of the usual one pill, the Princess took three this night. Exhausted she finally fell asleep again, dreamless, but also restless.
The next days nothing changed. First Bow tried to talk to Adora, but she refused again and again, smiling, telling him, that it was nothing. Finally he gave up. When he saw her pale face then, or heard her scream in her dreams, a sharp needle was in his heart. Usually he woke her up, if she had a nightmare. She always pretended not to remember what she had dreamed. Probably it was even true. “Dreams cease, darling” she used to say in these nights. “They always cease.” Bow hated it to leave her alone in this shape, but he had to go on a training for his new job as Royal Guard Captain. He surely wouldn’t have gone, if he had known, what was about to happen.
Adora came from a ride with Adam on this day. As soon as they entered the courtyard, Queen Marlena joined them. „Adora, a visitor!“ Her face was a little bit taken aback. Adora jumped down, actually knowing, what was up. „Where?“ At that moment someone came out of the palace. A strong man with reddish-brown hair and beard. The black headband was characteristic, as the weapons were. He looked around- then his eyes grew wide. „Adora!“ He ran to her and before she could prevent it he hugged and kissed her. „Princess! That I finally have you again!“ „Hawk...“ She tried to free herself of his grasp. „Hawk, please!“ Only now he saw the refuse in her eyes. But he didn’t understand yet. „What’s up?“ She stood back, making a distance between him and her. „Hawk, please, come with me. I have to tell you something.“ Fast she pulled him into the palace. The scene hadn’t been only embarrassing but dangerous too. If Bow would get that! She went into an office with him. Not very private, but it shouldn’t be, either. She saw the total bewilderment in his sight. „What is up with you, Adora?“ he asked again and placed his arm round her shoulders. Forceful she put him back. „No, Hawk.“ Now he was really hurt. „I have imagined our meeting a little bit differently. I missed you very much.“ „You did?“ she asked pointed. „It would have been more than nice to write that to me once.“ „Are you angry because of this? Didn’t you receive my letters after Hordak's exile? I sent them here, into the palace.“ „No, I...“ She looked puzzled. „So far I didn’t receive any letters here. The eternian-etherian - shipping -system isn’t very good yet. I have to take care of it. Hawk...“ He didn’t gave her a chance to speak. „And before Hordak's exile? Seven weeks I didn’t write. In this weeks I had to think a lot. I didn’t expect you to be so insulted right away.“ He pulled her to him again. "Come on, don’t be angry. Next time I write you every day, okay?“ „Sea Hawk, there’ll be no next time!“ No he shrank back himself. „What? Don’t tell me, you want to break!“ Suddenly tears were in her eyes. „Hawk, it’s broken for long!“ He grew pale and she tried to be more friendly. „`Thinking´ isn’t a reason for giving no news at all. Above all, if you need a mermaid named Grassia to think.“ He looked down. It was true. „I...“ „Let me finish. I’ve heard of Grassia after the last battle against Hordak. But before there happened something much more important. You should know me that good, that I don’t say good-bye because of a few weeks.“ She folded her arms. He looked on her hand and saw the ring. „Another man? You left me because of another one?“ „We aren’t engaged yet, that’s only a ring showing the deep love of our relationship, but it won’t take long anymore. Don’t tell me about faithfulness now, Hawk. I had ended our relationship yet, when I discovered my feelings for Bow.“ „Bow?“ That apparently was the biggest shock for him. „And what do you mean: You had ended our relationship? Don’t you think, you should have told me before closing the door?“ „Don’t you think, you should have told me, when you fished Grassia out of the sea?“ she returned. „You do understand me totally wrong! Bow always had feelings for me. On the evening before Hordak has been defeated, he has asked me. At this moment I got clear about, that he mentions much more for me than before too.“ „On the evening before Hordak has been defeated?“ Suddenly he laughed bitterly. „Do you want to know, where I have been on this evening? Fifty pars away! I’ve always wondered, why you didn’t call me for the last fight.“ „At least that I can tell you.“ She looked out of the window. „It all went so fast then, that no one could be called, who wasn’t very near. I didn’t even know where to reach you...“ He laughed again. This laughing was worse than crying. „Where? In the shiny beach. I don’t know, what they told you, but Grassia was only a accident. I wanted to tell you myself, and I wanted to do it on just this evening...“ „Accident?“ Adora could bear much, but not all. „A accident it had been? Perhaps an egoistic phase? I’ve waited for you two months without a single signal of living of yours and I haven’t thought about to cheat you, not once in this long time. Do you think, it was easy for me, when I understood, that these two months had destroyed all my feelings for you, Hawk? I denied it long, but Madam Razz helped me to see it in the end, that my love to you had ceased. When Bow kissed me the first time I knew, I had to get away from you. Because one - our - relationship you had had destroyed yet. I didn’t want you to destroy the second one too. Only when I got that and had torn the band between us, I knew, what the feelings are, when I look at Bow. It is love. I love Bow and I never felt such a strong love for anyone before. For you not either. Perhaps because you never gave me the possibility to discover this love. And now you come and want to continue after a accident the same way as before?“ „God in heaven, Adora! If I had known, how hard this separation was for you...“ „Hawk, please! Understand! It wasn’t just this last separation! You always were away and in the end you didn’t even think, it would be necessary to say, where I could find you. This relationship hasn’t had a chance that way. You or me, one of us had had to totally change his life. We never could have done had.“ „I could“ he said. He took something out from his pocket. „Perhaps you want to take a look at this.“ `Alert! Alert! Alert!´ Wonderful! „I have to...“ „For sure. Can I help?“ She jerked her shoulders. „Ask Bernard. He’s the temporal Royal Guard Captain, until Bow comes back.“ Hawk disappeared. Now Adora couldn’t take anymore. The tears, which hadn’t been cried before, came. She sat down on a seat and cried like a little child. Never before she had missed a battle. But today the others waited for her for nothing.
„Adora?“ She wiped the tears away, but it was useless, everybody had to see she had cried and still did. Sea Hawk entered the room. „You’re hurt!“ she said frightened. „Where?“ He looked on his arm, which bled from three long wounds. For a unknown reason this injure startled Adora. It seemed to her, she had also had one like this once. But she couldn’t remember. „Oh, that! Not bad. Beastman...“ „I’ll bandage it.“ She took a first-aid-kit. This damned tears! „You weren’t in the battle.“ „Does that really surprise you? Sit down.“ „May I explain now...“ „I don’t need your reasons. Don’t tell me, `cause it hurts.“ She took the disinfectant. His weak try to start the discussion again had dried her tears fast. „Ah! Do you want to kill me?“ „Keep still, blast! Do you want to get a sepsis?“ she bitched. More brutal than it would have been necessary she stopped the bleeding and closed it sterile. „That should be enough.“ She wanted to go, but he held her hand tight. The greatest love spoke from his eyes, but it couldn’t reach Adora anymore. Too much had happened, first his silence, then Grassia. But that he had been unfaithful to her, that was less hard for her. How silly did he think she was? Of course she knew, that the little mermaid had only been an adventure for him, for which he wasn’t even responsible alone. His friends had led him to have a turn with the woman, he had been totally drunk. The expression `accident´ had annoyed her, but that wasn’t really the thing, which hurt her most. She simply had lost her feelings for him. And, damnit, that was, what made her feel so bad! He wasn’t a bastard and she regretted not being able to love him anymore. „Let me go“ she said sadly. „Otherwise I start to cry again. Or I’ll break your shoulder. I don’t know exactly yet. But then I’ll know it. And both will hurt you, I promise.“ He stood up. „I don’t recognize you anymore.“ Actually he only laid a hand on her shoulder, but she was worked up now. She really almost broke him something, when she threw him down with an old judo-grasp. „Was that clear enough now, Hawk?“ She ran out, directly into her brother, who saw her red eyes, her tears, and led her into his room immediately. „If somebody sees you that way, tomorrow hell will break loose in the media. By the way, Adora- if you have a foreseeing next time, please just forget it!“ Nevertheless all she had to smile at these words.
-dark-dusty-silence-`Hello, Adora.´-`Who´s there?´-`Hawk. Don’t you know me anymore?´-scream-pain-pain-pain
„Adora, wake up! Adora!“ She startled in panic, her heart beat wildly, her mouth was dry and she was sweating, although she froze. Cold sweat! „Adora, for heaven’s sake!“ Only now she realized, who was sitting there. „Bow!“ She embraced him, crying. He felt racing her pulse. Scared he held her tight. „Easy, babe! I’m here now.“ She trembled on her whole body. It took a few minutes until she had calmed down so much, that he could talk to her. „Bow, what... what happened?“ She looked around restlessly. „You fell asleep in Adam’s arms“ he told her. „After you cried on his shirt for an hour.“ „Really?“ Now the memory came back. „Sea Hawk! Where is he?“ „Away. Yesterday.“ „Yesterday? Have I slept so long?“ The dream! With a scream she put her hands on her face. „No!“ Her boyfriend got worried more and more. First of all this shit with Hawk... His old friend hadn’t even greeted him, when they had meet the evening before. Adam had told a confused story and Adora had yelled in dream the whole night without he had been able to wake her up. He hugged her tight. „It’s okay now! Nobody can hurt you!“ „It was so horrible!" she sobbed. "The dream... the memories... they got real more and more! And I still don’t know, what they actually are about! I don’t know, what this is, Bow! I’ve no single idea! And I don’t want to know, too! I think, I’m going crazy! And Sea Hawk! It’s all my fault, I...“ He pushed her back on the pillow gently, but firmly. „I’ll bring you something to calm down. Stay here. I’ll be back soon.“ He had really been away only for minutes. But when he entered the room again, Adora was away.
„Adam! Come on!“ The Prince woke up confused. Standing up at five o’clock again? Yawning he opened the door. „Bow?“ He hadn’t hardly seen the warrior so excited. „What the hell...?“ „Adora! She’s away!“ „What do you mean, away?“ Suddenly He-Man was wide-awake. „She’s totally down. And now, when I had left the room for a few minutes, she ran away!“ „Tell me everything!“ Meanwhile Adam put on the clothes. „That’s serious“ he said then. „Very serious. I’ve experienced enough with Adora the last years, but something like this happens for the first time. I had a feeling, that she wasn’t alright, not the way, she has pretended to be, but I didn’t think, that it is so bad. Come on, Cringer! We’ve got work to do!“ „Oh no! Not that again!“ He opened his eyes slowly. „Sorry, old tiger. By the power of Grayskull! I have the power!“ Bow didn’t see Adam’s transformation for the first time, but it was impressing again and again. Too, if Battle Cat was more important at the moment, who ran into the stable immediately and into Spirit’s box. Seconds later he had taken the scent of the horse. Bow already sat on Arrow. „Let’s go!“ He was pale. „We have to find her! `Cause whatever these depressions might be about: Now they’re more worse than ever. And Adora can’t escape.“
„Captain...“ „Leave me alone, Sven.“ The Sea Hawk stood on the reeling of his proud flying ship and looked down on the sea. He only wanted to get away, get away from the gate as far as possible. What had he done? „I’ve lost her“ he said silently. „What fool I am!“ Adora was the love of his life, he knew that for a long time. If she only had let explain him... The last months he had really had to think. About love and the sea. He took out the sheet, she should have read. `Certification of handing over´. Next week he had wanted to send it. Captain Windblow would be very disappointed. He had looked forward to his new command very much. All had been clear. If Adora only had seen it, if she had listened to him for five minutes, he could have told her, that he had wanted to leave his ship to live with her. He tore the sheet and gave the pieces to the wind.
-dark-dusty-pain-fur-screamings-cold-wet-`Let´s see, how good you really are.´-`No! Stay away! No!´-scream-pain
Adora opened her eyes very slowly. Somebody had called her. „What is it, Spirit?“ „What’s up with you, Adora? Talk to me! You scare me!“ „Scare?“ She laughed. It was a hard, unreal laughing, she hadn’t expected from herself and for sure not in this silence here. „You can’t be scared as much as I am, Spirit. And I pray, you’ll never have to be so scared.“ „Why? What’s up?“ „My dreams come to me during the day now. It has just happened again. I knew for split seconds, what has happened- and it was away again. I can’t bear it longer!“ She stood up and went to the brink of the cliff. Her horse didn’t leave her alone. At present she wasn’t really rational. She looked down on the sea. 50 meters perhaps. "What do you think, Spirit, is the water very cold?“ She couldn’t take her look from the high waves breaking on the rocks. Her horse stepped in front of her. „Adora!“ „Spirit, please! Go away! I don’t do, what you think, I am doing. I’ve just found out, what I have to do to fight these nightmares, I have for weeks.“ „What do you mean?“ he asked worried. „They’ll never let me in peace, if I don’t lay myself open to them. But first I have to know, what actually had happened. And for that I have to take another, a bigger challenge. I know from Mom, that such tests of courage aren’t unusual on earth. Jumping down from this height... It may be dangerous. Mom has said: If you jump because you’re forced too, the sea feels it and kills you without mercy. But if you threw your heart and jump after it, nothing can happen to you. I’m afraid of it, Spirit, you know, how I hate such things. But I think, I’ll do it.“ „Why?“ He didn’t let her go, seemed to be absolutely determined to prevent her, with violence if necessary. “I don’t know. Perhaps I’ll get some answers then. Although I’m more scared of them than of this jump. But I have to know, what happened. Only then I have a chance to forget it.“ She stepped forward. „Go away, Spirit. I know, you mention it good, but if you really want to do something for me, go back to the palace and tell them, I’m coming soon.“ „And how will you get home?“ he asked, trying to change the subject. She jerked. „I don’t know. Nothing matters at present, dearie. Nothing at all.“ He didn’t give up yet. „Do you want to jump, the way, you’re dressed?“ „Oh, thanks for reminding me.“ She took her sword and put the scabbard round his neck. „Please, be so kind and keep that for me for a while.“ He saw, that she really wanted to do it. It wouldn’t have been a problem for him to prevent her, he was bigger and stronger than her, when she was Adora, but, damnit, she was his friend. How did he risk this friendship more, by bringing her back or leaving and risking to loose her totally? She saw, how he fought with himself. „Spirit, you are always the more cool-headed one of us, but let me decide alone just today, okay? I’ll come back.“ „And when?“ „Soon. Very soon, I think.“ Hesitating he went back, pointed at her boots. „They’ll pull you down.“ „Right you are.“ She took them off, the belt too. „Go, Spirit.“ „But...“ „Go!“ He neighed painfully and galloped down the way, they had taken up here. Adora looked after him shortly. Then she stared at the water again. The sea was deep blue. What had Bow once said, decades ago? `You don’t feel very well in the water, do you?´ It was true. But it didn’t count anymore now. Only the nightmares counted. And Hawk. The wind blew away the tears of a Princess, pulled on her hair. She felt something deep inside her, which seemed to lead her directly into the abyss. The wolf. She closed her eyes and let herself fall.
„He-Man! Bow! Thank goddess!“ Spirit was really relieved to meet them an half of the way to the gate. Excited he told them all. „Bow, how dangerous is this jump?“ Adam asked at once. „I don’t know. No one was crazy enough to do that yet. Come on!“ His friend was totally immobile for seconds. „Come on!“ Bow shouted. „Or do you want to root here, while your sister kills herself?“ That helped. „Run, Battle Cat! Come with us, Spirit. We better don’t alarm the others. It’s not too late yet.“
`Adora, I have to talk to you.´ `Yes, mighty one.´ `You’re fourteen now. That’s very young, but you fight as good as everyone else here yet. You make me proud.´ `Thanks, mighty one.´ `Well, I’ve decided to give your more responsibility. From tomorrow on you’ll fight with the best ones against the rebels. But first I have to test you. It’s not that I don’t trust you, all have passed this test. Catra surely remembers it well.´ The warrior woman stood a few meters away. Her sight got dark. She didn’t like Adora. Well- Adora didn’t like her too. `Very good, indeed´ she murmured. `What did you say?´ Hordak asked strictly. `Yes, mighty one´ she repeated loudly. `Go down with Adora. You’ll pass this test easily, child, I know it.´ `Yes, mighty one. But shouldn’t I train?´ `No. No training. That is the rule. Besides you don’t need it, the good way, you fight. Go down with Catra. She shows you the room. Don’t be puzzled, it’s dark in there. You know, the rebels come at night.´ `Yes, mighty one.´ She went after Catra. A bad feeling was in her. What test should that be? She tied back her hair, like she ever did in fights. `A moment! My sword is still up there´ she shouted suddenly. `You don’t need it´ the cat said harshly. In front of the room she stopped. She looked at Adora- and suddenly there was a tear! Fast she put it away. `Oh, Adora.´ And then she said something, the teenager had never expected to hear from her, something, she should never forget, even if Catra should become her arch-enemy: `I’m so sorry, Adora.´ She opened the door and pushed her in. First of all Adora couldn’t see anything. Only slowly her eyes got familiar with the darkness. In the corner there stood somebody... She took a closer look. There were more of them. Damned much of them. Without warning her they attacked her with laser rays. What should she do against ten armed robots? Hordak knew, she couldn’t fight them all, didn’t he? She managed it to avoid the shots several times, but there were too much troopers. Soon she felt a hot pain in her hip. She got unconscious.
With unbelievable force she fell on the water surface. She dived under deeply, her mouth and her nose filled with salt water. The pressure nearly tore her eardrums. Her whole body hurt, but it seemed, that nothing was broken. Her mother had been right once again. Adora tried to dive up, but she was completely immobile. The memory had come so suddenly in the free fall, that her head nearly had exploded. This one night! She hadn’t seen all, she knew it. And she didn’t want to do so, less now than before. Instead of diving up Adora took a kind of rigor mortis. She knew, that was silly, that she had to come up again, but up there was the rest of the memory, which she didn’t want to see. She... A strong current took her. She fought against, but she couldn’t get free. She hadn’t realized, how dangerous near to the rocks she had landed. The current pulled her exactly into this direction now. Adora hadn’t the strength to prevent it anymore. She got pushed against the cliff so hard, that she blacked out immediately.
Sea Hawk was far away from Brightmoon yet. He had decided to grant leave his men. He needed time for himself. Since the Horde was no longer, they hadn’t anything to do anyway. His life as a pirate he had given up too... The future was very unknown. Perhaps he would go to his father. Yes, it was possible, that he would move to his father. Far away from the life on the mainland. But first he would bring home his crew. Then he had something to do at least. Sven constantly tried to talk to him. Probably he looked the way, he felt. But there was nothing to talk about. He had lost her. He had to handle this alone. Suddenly he touched his forehead. Someone called him by telepathy. `Sea Hawk, I need you!´ This voice! Who was it? It wasn’t Adora, but he knew the person... `What happened? Who are you?´ `Come back to Brightmoon at once! I’ll meet you on the way. It’s serious, Hawk. It’s Adora.´ Whoever this person was, hadn’t to say more. Hawk turned round the ship immediately.
„Forget it, He-Man. We’ve looked for her everywhere. Perhaps she is home yet.“ „Yes. Perhaps.“ Restlessly he looked at the sea. „What, if...“ „Definitely no. There are neither alga nor anything else, which could prevent her from coming up again. I suggest, we ride home now, and if she isn’t there, we’ll search for her in the villages around here. Okay?“ „Okay.“ Bow didn’t want to show, that he was very worried too. „I stay here“ Spirit said. „Perhaps she needs me.“ Adam thought about it and nodded. „But come home in the evening, if she isn’t there, won’t you?“ „I’ll do.“ The two warriors rode back to the gate. They couldn’t know, that they had missed Adora after their arrival only for minutes.
„Mermaid ahead! Mermaid just ahead!“ Sven shouted. „But... that’s...“ „Mermista!“ Hawk shouted. „And not alone!“ He took the telescope fast. What his feelings had told him right, he saw now. „Adora! Adora's with her! But not awake, as I can see! Mermista can’t hold her over the water all the time, she isn’t that strong. Can’t we go on faster, Sven?“ „We fly as fast as we can, Captain.“ „That’s not fast enough!“ Hawk yelled. His number one shrank back. Hawk forced himself to stay calm. „What’s about the new dinghy?“ „With the motor? But you haven’t tested it yet, Captain!“ „I’ll do so now. Come on!“
The drive was dangerous and seemed to last endlessly, but Sea Hawk reached the mermaid long before his ship did. Immediately he took Adora, who drifted unconscious on the water. Her curls were let down, the wet hair let her look more pale than she was anyway. Very careful he took her into the boat. Was she... „She’s alive“ Mermista calmed him. „But it was barely enough. When I found her, she was blacked out for a long time yet. I hope, there hadn’t come too much salt water into the respiratory tracts. Hawk, I found her at the cliff. I think she has jumped.“ He frightened. „Thanks, Mermista. You did, what you could. Now I have to help.“ She nodded and dived again. „Oh, Adora!“ Gently he touched the beloved face. She was very restless, her lids flattered, her face had a painful sight. But he couldn’t wake her up. What was happening?
When Adora woke up, the robots were away. She felt dizzy. Apparently she had hurt her head, when she had fallen... my god! Only, when she began to freeze, she saw, that she was stripped off her clothes. What was going on? When she got over the first shock, she wanted to go, but she was chained! Somebody had chained her with Laser rays to a dreadful wet, green brick wall, the arms to the side, the legs opened wide. Somebody? Hordak! To her scare came a uncontrolled rage now. She had trusted him! She heard a quiet noise. Someone else was in the cell. She looked in the darkest corner and her heart stopped beating for a moment, when she recognized Grizzlor's build. His yellow eyes flashed up frightening in the darkness. Slowly he got closer. In panic she pulled on her chains. `No! No! Stay away!´ He only laughed scornfully. His claws caught her on the belly that she couldn’t breath for seconds, they left bloody wounds. `Well, let’s see, how good you really are´ he growled. She defended herself in despair, but she could do nothing. Absolutely nothing. He pressed against her, touched her, hurt her and enjoyed every moment of her big helplessness. It didn’t last long, but for her it seemed like half an eternity. She was nearly paralyzed because of the shock- until she heard a noise of torn cloth. She understood with the only very few rational thoughts, which she was able to have in this minutes, that he took off his trousers, that he would deflower her brutally and cruelly. `No! Stay away! No!´ He laughed again and pushed deep inside her. Adora got no breath anymore. Her mouth articulated screams, which were to big to get through her vocal cords. Her whole world was ruled by a excruciating pain in her belly. She felt Grizzlor's fur on her body. The smell of wild animals didn’t allow her to get air. The parts of her body, where he had injured her, burned, when he touched there again. But this all she hardly realized. The only real thing was the pain. It was so intensive, that it nearly took shape. `Well, you’re quite a fighter´ he said. And only now Adora began to scream.
She screamed, until somebody woke her up. „Sea Hawk!“ He expected a slap or something like this, but she hugged him. „Ey! For what was that?“ he asked smiling. Then he saw the pain in her eyes. „I...“ „No, wait.“ He helped her up. „That something isn’t okay, that’s, what I’ve realized. But we will talk on the ship about. And I think, first of all we should tell your family, that you’re okay.“ The flying ship landed next to them. He looked at her worried. „Are you okay, Adora?“ Instead of an answer she started to cry.
„Thank goddess, she’s safe!“ Adam switched off the view screen. „Where?“ Bow asked immediately. „She’s...“ That sounded not good at all now... „...on Sea Hawk's ship.“ For a moment Bow stiffened, then he went outside. The Prince followed him. „Where do you think, you are going to?“ „I take a winrider and pick her up.“ „Bow, that’s bullshit! If she had wanted our help, she wouldn’t have rode to Etheria! Let her first make clear the problem with Sea Hawk!“ The warrior finally agreed. „I’ll have to talk to her, when she comes here“ he said. „It isn’t necessary, that she’s running away everytime, she has a problem. I want her to trust me.“ He went away. Adam shook his head. „I thought, I am an eccentric, but in compare to my sister I actually do look proper normal...“ Cringer came in and ended the talk to himself.
Adora had took off her wet clothes and sat now wrapped up in a blanket in Sea Hawk’s cabin. He gave her a cup. „Drink! Then you’ll feel better. And then tell me.“ She did it, at least the drinking. The coffee was awful, she had always hated it, but it helped her to think clear again. She gasped for air, when she remembered all- and began to cough immediately. „This damned salt water...“ Hawk waited patiently, until she could speak again, then he asked. And suddenly Adora told him her life-long secret, which never ever anyone had been allowed to know, which she had suppressed so much, that she had totally forgotten it. It had been deleted. Up to today. „Hawk, you know, that Hordak has raped me before we exiled him, don’t you?“ „What? No, I didn’t! My god, Adora! I am so sorry!“ „Me too“ she commented dryly. She was surprised, that she could speak normally although she felt dead inside her soul. She had to take care of not to tell him too exactly. She had remembered just in time, that the rape had happened, when she had been She-Ra, not Adora. „It was horrible. But not because of the rape itself. Today I know, why it has been so awful. Because it wasn’t the first time.“ „What?“ Sea Hawk grew pale more and more. „Did you ever heard of a loss of memory, which is so hard, that you don’t even know, you have one?“ „No.“ „Me too not. But that happened to me. I mean, in the past, when I thought of the time, when I was fourteen, I knew, that happened and that happened... But I didn’t know anymore, that on my fourteenth birthday Hordak locked me up in the dungeon with Grizzlor to be raped.“ How could she say that? She hadn’t even dared to think of before! „Since this day I haven’t thought of it.“ „Perhaps a spell of Shadow Weaver so you don’t turn against the Horde?“ he mentioned. „Perhaps. In the beginning. But when Adam had freed my from her spell, I should have remembered. But I didn’t. I did simply forget it.“ „Oh, Adora!“ He hugged her. She cried. „I didn’t even realize it, when I first had sex with Bow, Hawk! I told him, it had been my first time, and since I hadn’t known better it was too. I really believed that!“ „And you believed right." Puzzled she looked up. "Only think, Adora. For you it was the first time to make love. You wanted it and you enjoyed it. There’s a big difference here." "Yes... you’re right..." "It’s good, you told me“ he said quietly. „You just had to let it out. Otherwise it would have killed you.“ „But... what shall I do now?“ „Go home, Adora. Go to the people, who love you. Bow is a wonderful man. You have to tell him. He has managed it to bring you over the rape by Hordak. He will understand it now too.“ „But that’s just it!“ she said sobbing. „I haven’t given him the possibility to help me after Hordak... I have suppressed it as well as the rape by Grizzlor!“ „Then why don’t you work with it now? With Bow? With your family? Work it over before it works you over!“ She looked at him seriously, took his hand. „You let me go, Sea Hawk?“ she asked seriously. Two tears. „It will tear my heart in two, Adora. But I want you to be happy. And you are with Bow. He can give you more than I could. I wish you good luck. Both of you.“ „Thank you, Sea Hawk.“ She bent forward and kissed him lightly. Then she left the room. The Captain sat there for a long while still, looking on the door, she had passed. „Au revoir, Princess of Power“ he said silently. She would never know it. He had wanted to tell her, when they would live together. Now, that this wouldn’t happen, it was useless to tell her, that he knew her secret.
A few hours Adora had needed absolute silence. She had called for Spirit and had rode into the Whispering Woods. It hadn’t been too hard to tell her horse, what had happened. He had always been her best friend. She could tell him everything. He did the right: He said nearly nothing. He knew, she needed somebody else to talk to. But he was beside her when she sat down near a river and thought. She didn’t even cry at that moment, she just sat there and thought. He was beside her and showed her, he was there. When it was time to ride back she thanked him. "I’m glad you’re there, Spirit." Lovingly she caressed his white fur. "And I am glad, you’re alright. I couldn’t have bear to lost you" he said. "Let’s go home now."
Bow was already waiting for her. The last hours she had thought about how to tell him, but it became really difficult. When she entered the flat and he hugged her relieved, she startled. She didn’t want it, it was just a reflex, that she frightened and immediately had the horrible moments on her mind again. He felt her tremble and looked at her seriously. "Would you like to tell me now, Adora?" She sighed quietly, then made her gently free from his grasp and went over to the window. "It won’t be easy" she said with tears. "It’s never easy" he gave back. "For example it isn’t easy for me to see you suffer that way and don’t even have an idea, why. You scare me, Adora. I’m afraid, you don’t love me anymore." When she turned round again he saw the same scare in her eyes. "That’s, what I just wanted to say! I’m afraid too, that you won’t love me anymore if you know..." "That’s nonsense" he interrupted her. "You know, I love you. Don’t you trust me, Adora?" "I do" she said honestly. "And I love you like I never loved anyone before." "Then what is it?" She took a deep breath. "I’ll tell you." After she had told him there were two or three seconds, in which she thought, she had lost him. Two or three seconds, he needed to come to her and hug her, while she started to cry unrestrained. His first reaction was the nearly the same as Sea Hawk’s: "My god." And then the words she needed to hear: "I’m here, Adora. I’ll always be. I love you. No matter, what happened." "I love you too, Bow." There was no need to talk now. They would talk later. For the moment she just needed him beside her, holding her, supporting her. Someone she could trust. Someone, in front of whom she could cry without being ashamed. Someone understanding her.
Bow left the room quietly. He was glad, Adora had finally decided to take some rest. She was exhausted and needed it. He had sat beside her until she had fallen asleep. Most probably she would have nightmares again, he thought. Then he had to be beside her. But now he needed a few moments on his own. Unbelievable rage was in him. He had never had the wish to kill somebody as strong as now. But the ones, who should be killed, were far away. When he saw Adam he remembered Adora's words. `Please, Bow- would you tell the others? I... I don’t think, I could.´ He thought of how pale she was, how weak. Broken by a crime, for which her boyfriend would have killed now. The rage needed a outlet, immediately. Adam startled when his friend suddenly took a chair standing in the corridor and broke a big mirror on the wall. "Damnit! Damnit! Those bastards!" He threw the chair on the floor and turned to the wall, hiding his face, white with rage, in one hand. With the other hand he beat against the wall as if wanting to break it too. Adam waited a few minutes, before he carefully went closer. He was more than shocked. Normally Bow was calm and rationally and never he had thought his friend could do his nut that way. The short attack had vanished as fast as it had come. When Adora's boyfriend turned round to Adam, his eyes were clear again. But the Prince thought to see tears in them. "I have a feeling, I even don’t want to know" Adam said quietly. "But what the hell happened?" "I’ll kill them" Bow promised instead of an answer, with a total emotionless voice, just a finding. "They will pay for it." "Who? For what? What are you talking about?" Adam asked. "That your sister is a nervous wreck by example!" Bow shouted. His friend shrank back. "Ey! Calm down! If you could finally tell me what is going on..." "I can." They startled. They hadn’t heard Teela-Na coming. "Come with me, Adam. Your parents shall know too. Bow, perhaps it’s better, if you go to Adora again." "Of course. But... Teela-Na... how could you know..." "I always knew it. Go now. She needs you." Duncan's girlfriend vanished with Adam. And Bow returned to Adora. To be there for her. Forever. But his promise to kill the ones, who were responsible, was still on his mind and would always be.
Dear Sea Hawk,
It’s time for me to write you a real letter of farewell. I’m alone in my room, no one can interrupt me. First of all I want to thank you. Three days have passed and what shall I say- I feel good. Okay, good would be too much. Let’s say, so well, that I won’t jump down somewhere again. You were right about Bow. You know, I was afraid, but without him I wouldn’t have stood the last time. He helps me to get over it. He shows me, how wonderful love can be. And he makes me laugh. If you were him, you could do so too. You aren’t him, but I want you to know, that you could be. We have split. Surely not very good. I have found the man now, with whom I want to spend my life. But sometimes, in the middle of the night, when I look at him, I think of you and of the times, we had. You were it and will be: My first boyfriend. Without you I would be nothing. Before I met you, I only worried about Hordak and the rebellion or I was depressed, because I couldn’t be at home. When we were together, these things were important still, but I didn’t have sleepless nights because of it anymore. You have made me happy, as I had never been before. You also have made me sad, as I had never been before. When we’ll meet in future, we’ll only be friends. That’s not easy, for sure, but because of this I write this letter. To say good-bye the way, I’ve missed it then. It was a fault to end our relationship without telling you and I’m really sorry. I think, I must stop, otherwise I’ll cry again. I don’t want to. There were enough tears. So I’m ending now and want you to know only one more thing: I have loved you, Sea Hawk. It could have become the big love, but it didn’t. So our relationship is finally over now. But I’ll never forget you. Yours,